How To Save The Human Race

Since we all know the apocalypse is near and eventually tyrants and capitalists will soon destroy life as we know it, I say the time is now to start planning ahead, and I have the perfect plan to not only save humanity but to improve humanity for the next go around.

For those who remember Ian Fleming’s Bond classic Moonraker from 1979, the premise was set that the evil Mr. Drax (played expertly by Michael Lonsdale)  was going to annihilate humanity with a rare orchid that can be weaponized into a nerve agent which destroys all human life – but only human life – an idea currently being championed by the Eco Left as the perfect solution to ending climate change so the rest of the worlds’ animals can finally live in peace and harmony, just like Disney said. 

Turning Point USA Spokespeople

Drax is smart however, because before he plans to destroy mankind he brings with him to space (to sit out the apocalypse), a small army of human specimens, all of whom look like members of the Turning Point USA youth movement, people like Candace Owens, Charlie Kirk, Isabel Brown, and others who, forgive me if I am wrong, are just absolutely adorable human specimens. 

Imagine a future world populated by humans from Turning Point USA who not only look great, but appear to be the smartest group of 23 years olds I have ever seen. 

Have you seen Candace Owens, or Kendall Jones, or Jordan Rachel? Or how about Rob Smith, Stephen Davies, or Jon Root? These look like faces on a calendar edition of Glamour Magazine, and everyone of them has the U.S. Constitution memorized!

If we don’t send them to space, we may consider a second option, which is to find a nice sized island somewhere far away from civilization, give them seeds, a veritable Noah’s Ark of two-by-two animals, and let them pro-create like crazy so that when the world finally does go to complete shit, somewhere out there will be hope for a new and advanced race of really smart and really nice looking people who also happen to have faith in Jesus and like meat.

The perfect solution to a world that has gone mad, a real turning point, pardon the pun, of the future human race.

Where’s Mr. Drax when you need him?

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