Why Pride in Being Gay Is Wrong


Years ago, long before there were Pride parades and multi-colored flags flying around, my brother and I had a long chat about being gay. He is and I am not. I love my brother and long before I knew he was gay (which was not that surprising to learn years later owing to his proclivity of being femininely), he was my brother. At the core of our relationship and what I believe to be his identity, is that he was a human being first, a gay man second.

Now I know for gay men and women being gay is a big deal. If you had to hide your real feelings most of the time while growing up living in fear of being persecuted for the offense of being sexually or physically attracted to another of the same sex, that would be a heavy burden to bear.  It is a curse I wouldn’t wish on anyone, frankly. 

But to my point is that I don’t believe a person should define themselves by who they are sexually attracted to, and while I can appreciate the solidarity of gay pride parades, a celebration of openness, I feel that the emphasis on sexual choice is a tepidly weak and superficial claim that in the last analysis, has nothing to do with the rest of your life.

Pride month is an emphasis on the physical aspect of human character, not the spiritual aspect. Man celebrating his proclivities might warrant a few coming out parties once in a while, but to dedicate an entire month? 1 12th of a whole year? to the exercise of celebrating who I like to sleep with, seems coarse, unintellectual and about as mature as my niece getting a bouncy house for her 8th birthday party.

Indeed, it is a travesty and almost comical to see grown men throwing a month long party to celebrate the fact that they prefer a penis instead of a vagina.

Person to person I ask: doesn’t it seem vacuous and superficial to put on display your predilections as virtue? 

You are not defined by your sexuality no more than you are defined by your preference of food, or your tastes in furniture, or clothing.

Most men, who are only to proud to be straight, have enough common sense to realize no one else really cares, unless you make it an issue, which is what Pride month is, an issue to be snubbed in the face of every mortal that is called to notice your behavior so that you can feel acknowledged, an orgy of narcissism on a global scale. How self serving and trite!! Look at Me!

So for Pride month I say we should all wear tee-shirts that proudly exclaim our sexual fetish so that the world will know what body parts we enjoy the most, if only to expose the silliness of having so much pride in such a non-important issue as ones’ sexual desires behind closes doors.

In an age when we are ask to put aside our opinions (and discriminations) on sexual preference because they shouldn’t really matter, why then do we make sexual preference such an issue when it is not supposed to be in the work place nor in the public square. Why do we, on the one hand, create laws that prohibit sexual discrimination based on the premise that sexual preference shouldn’t matter, but then celebrate sexual preference because it is seemingly matters on a global scale?

I am a firm believer, as are most people of reasonably equipped noggins, that any person, gay, straight or otherwise, is diminished when the only thing that defines them is their sexuality. This is the long lesson we are still learning, and is why people of color have rightly affirmed that content of character is what defines us, not what we look like or who we choose to have relations with, and this is why I object to Pride Month, a demeaning act that marginalizes people who falsely believe they need to be propped up and celebrated like the court jester whose only purpose is to entertain. 

Real pride comes from within, for that is the true test of a person’s character, a measurement of the maturity of one not dependent on approval of his or hers’ fellow mortals.


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